well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
