shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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