it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
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every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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