Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
