Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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