I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
