Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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