It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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