i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
