i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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