Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.