I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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