eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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