Your tits are I can't wait for
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Barsexuality is the new black.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
