; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
