Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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