Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't think brook has ever known best
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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