She is in my trunk
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
