Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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