found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
