You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
