So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
