I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
