that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
