***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
