how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
