talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
