Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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