is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
