There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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