I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
