Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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