office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
