Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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