Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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