oh god the rape fog is back!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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