I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I party with great urgency now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
