it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
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Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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