I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
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I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
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yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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