Don't make out with my wife yet
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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