So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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