so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
