Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
