i permit you to call me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
