Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
