you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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