New invention idea: vibrating tampons
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
