If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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