Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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