I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
