my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
