dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize