this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
