we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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