bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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