i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
