So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
